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Ozarks Voyage
Hillbilly Letter


Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read
in the paper where most accidents happen within 20 miles
of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the
address, as the Missouri family that lived here took the
numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't
have to change their address.

This place here has a washing machine! The first day I
put four shirts in it and I pulled the
chain and haven't seen em' since. Its only rained
twice this week, three days the first time, and four
days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send
you, Well your Aunt Sue said it'd be a little bit
too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons,
so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got
a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make
the last payment in Grandma's funeral, up she comes!
About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has 500
men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetary.
And, about your sister, she had a baby this morning!
Don't know whether its a boy or girl yet, so I can't
tell you if you are an aunt or an uncle!

Your Uncle John fell into a whiskey vat.
Some men tried to pull him out, but he just
fought them off playfully, so then he drowned. So
we done cremated him, and he burned for three whole
days! Three of your friends went off that old
bridge in there pickup. One of them was driving,
the other two was in the back. The driver got out.
He rolled the window down and he swam to safety.
But, them other two drowned. They just couldn't get
that ole tailgate down! Not much more news at this
time. Write more often.
Your Mom


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